Moving to the One Another House

I'm coming up for air as I get ready to move. I can't imagine why I would suddenly want to write here when I'm so short on time and so pressed to do things, and after ignoring the blog for months on end. Maybe it's a displacement activity, one designed to let off steam sideways so I'm not blown forward or backward by it. Whatever...

We're moving into a wonderful new experience, as well as a different house. My husband and I will be sharing a house with young friends in their 30s who have two toddlers, both girls. We're all Christians, and although our striping is different now, we knew each other back when... So we're longtime friends who have shared some of the troubles that Christ has so richly blessed us with and come through knowing that we share the unity of the Spirit.

Which isn't to say it will all be easy! We expect to find daily challenges to bless us anew. We're calling it 'One Another House' in honor of all the one another statements in the Bible. I've made a list and try to remember to read through it every day, with some success and failure, I admit.

ONE ANOTHERING 

'Do not deceive one another' - Leviticus 19:11
'Show mercy and compassion to one another' - Zechariah 7:9
'Love one another' - John 13:34,35
'Be devoted to one another' - Romans 12:10
'Live in harmony with one another' - Romans 12:16, 1 Peter 3:8
'Accept one another' - Romans 15:7
'Instruct one another' - Romans 15:14
'Agree with one another' - 1 Corinthians 1:10
'Greet one another with a holy kiss' - 2 Corinthians 13:12
'Serve one another in love' - Galatians 5:13
'Bearing with one another in love' - Ephesians 4:2
'Be kind and compassionate to one another' - Ephesians 4:32
'Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs' - Ephesians 5:19
'Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ' - Ephesians 5:21
'Admonish one another' - Colossians 3:16
'Encourage one another' - 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 3:13, Hebrews 10:25
'Spur one another on toward love and good deeds' - Hebrews 10:24
'Do not slander one another' - James 4:11
'Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling' - 1 Peter 4:9
'Love one another deeply' - 1 Peter 1:22
'Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another' - 1 Peter 5:5
'Have fellowship with one another' - 1 John 1:7

The big move is in early June, just across town to an older house that will be adequate in size, though not ample. We all covet the prayers of the saints for this experiment in Christian Community on a certain level, with a mixture of ages from 2 to 62! 

I can't promise to keep up here, as I've slacked off abysmally, but I like the idea of doing it more frequently, so I hope I will! 

Meanwhile, pray for us. We'll be one anothering soon.

Trapped by Tyrannical Thorns

Last of October, 2.5" x 3.5" gouache

I realized yesterday that I'm trapped, thoroughly entangled amid thorns that are piercing my flesh. I remember when I was a girl, yelling for my daddy's help, trapped in a place I shouldn't have gone.

Let me start with Jesus' story about what has happened to me. You remember the parable of the sower, don't you?

“Behold, a sower went out to sow. ⁴ And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. ⁵ Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth.⁶ But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. ⁷ And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. ⁸ But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.” (Mt. 13: 3-8)

Altogether He describes four different kinds of soil. I live in the desert southwest, so I have a yard full of the first three: 

• The hard path where the dirt is packed like concrete and nothing grows. 
• The stony, sun scorched earth, where little plants wither away. 
• The corner where the weeds are tangled up together in an impenetrable mass. 

In some places there's also healthy, dark, rich soil where good, green plants thrive. In theory.

When His disciples asked Him for an explanation of this parable, Jesus further described that third soil this way, "Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful."  (Mt. 13:22)

When I was a girl we had a large, untended pyracantha bush sprawling up a wall in one corner of our yard. Mom wore thick garden gloves to cut long branches that she carefully arranged in a big vase from time to time. I knew it was thorny, and had been told to stay away from it, but it was around the corner in a side yard where I didn't usually play. One day my beloved soft, gray rope got twisted under the big bush and stuck fast. I pulled and pulled, really leaning on it, but it wouldn't budge, so naturally I decided to crawl in under there and untangle it from the twisted trunks and branches. The thorns, as long as your thumbnail, run all along the branches, but all the little rounded green leaves and pretty red-orange berries disguise them. Once I crawled under the bush there was little I could do. Bleeding, I yelled and yelled until my dad finally came to painfully disentangle me from some very nasty spikes stuck in my head, hair, arms, hands and back. The rope came out of the encounter a few feet shorter, leaving a part beneath the bush that progressively frayed into a soft, fuzzy mass, never to completely disappear.

I'm not surprised Jesus used thorns to describe the state of one who hears the word but lets stuff steal her fruitfulness. Those thorns can be so subtle, disguised by things that look pretty and appealing, but once you're caught it's really painful to try to get free. The hurt is sharp and deep, and you bleed. In some ways it's tempting to just stay put and not move, but you'll only get more tangled up. In fact, you often have to wait for help, even when you discover your trouble, because the struggle only catches you faster in the grip of thorny pain. 

I know the word. "Do not love the world or the things in the world." (1 John 2:15) "...do not be conformed to this world..." (Romans 12:2) But I'm tangled up in cares and riches. Again. Don't get me wrong. I'm not rich by American standards. I don't have enough material possessions for most people to consider my cares to be too significant. But anyone may be caught in these thorny weeds, from the richest CEO in the biggest international corporation to the poorest, most pitiful street beggar. Thorns come disguised in all kinds of ways, ready to capture your heart with selfish wants and cruelly deceptive 'needs.' 

Yesterday, when I tearfully described my predicament to my husband, he prayed for me and handed me this: The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing by A. W. Tozer. Tough read. Tozer doesn't back down from the truth. Amid his wise words there you'll find these:

The way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of soul poverty and abnegation of all things. The blessed ones who possess the Kingdom are they who have repudiated every external thing and have rooted from their hearts all sense of possessing. These are the "poor in spirit." They have reached an inward state paralleling the outward circumstances of the common beggar in the streets of Jerusalem; that is what the word "poor" as Christ used it actually means. These blessed poor are no longer slaves to the tyranny of things. They have broken the yoke of the oppressor; and this they have done not by fighting but by surrendering. Though free from all sense of possessing, they yet possess all things. "Theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

If you find yourself pierced by the realization that things, including beloved people, material possessions, God-given gifts or talents, have you tangled up in them, stuck fast so that if you move you'll bleed, I recommend reading it. And praying.

My earthly daddy untangled me from a bush when I was a foolish child. Now I'm confident my heavenly Father will come to untangle me spiritually, as I surrender and call out to Him. 

Shepherds, Deserts, Flowers and Sheep

In His Arms, 24x30", pastel

It's been a long time since I've written here.

Why?

In part, I didn't think I had anything more to say that was of real value to anyone. This isn't false modesty or fishing for affirmation. I KNOW my worth in Christ and that He sometimes uses me to speak.

It's been a dry time, however. Desert plants turn all their energy inward, conserving what's given them to be able to bloom when the time comes.

I hope that applies to me. I think it does.

I'm laughing now because I just looked back to my previous post! The season to bloom is coming, not because of anything I've done but because God has provided the ideal conditions to grow me.

It seems some desert plants die if they get too much water. I may have felt kind of dessicated the last few months, but in fact I've been gathering strength beneath the surface.

Odd segue here, but stay with me...

The reason I decided to post now is because I just came upon the painting above. No, I never intended the shepherd to be Jesus, just a Middle Eastern shepherd holding his lamb. However, when I painted it back in 2004 I fully intended that lamb to represent me. Please notice that she's safe in her shepherd's arms, and although she isn't really hurting she is complaining loudly and long.

I should paint a companion piece now, featuring a lamb who is just glad to be where she is. It's so nice to have your heavenly Shepherd carry you. I'm resting in His arms in a way I couldn't in the past. He needed to let me get really thirsty on a long, dry, dusty road.

Psalm 23 says " He leads me beside still waters..." I'm glad to be there.

Now I want to curl up in His arms, or quietly follow Him. I wonder where we're going next? 

"Bloom where you are planted."

Poppies, gouache, 8x10"

All my life I've heard the saying, "bloom where you are planted," but today as I was taking my walk I started meditating on it. I think it's misleading...

Maybe my take on it is wrong, but when I hear it I assume that I should be content where I am, and that I should also, well, bloom. Even if I'm in the shade I should be bearing flowers or fruit. Even if it's cold and wintry, as a happy little plant I could make things better and bear some fruit. Even if I'm planted in the desert in very dry conditions, I should be blooming, assuming I'm doing this all correctly.

Isn't that what you think when you hear it? I know--I should simply accept my unchangeable surroundings and make the best of them. Accept the inevitable and make do. Find the good aspects of the situation and bear a little fruit...

It seems to presume that I can and should bloom despite where I am.

But I can't always.

My point is, "bloom where you are planted" implies that I can make myself bloom. Have you ever seen a plant that could do that? I'm picturing a strawberry trying to push out a flower, knowing that she will bear a sweet little bit of fruit. Does she concentrate? Try to spread out her leaves and gather more sunshine? Wiggle her roots deeper into the soil? I know, maybe she pushes and grunts and tries to think fruity thoughts. Ever seen a strawberry transplanting herself? Does she yell at the gardener, asking for more fertilizer?

Blooming doesn't require her to change her mind and accept things or become resigned to them. No, she simply lives.

Let's face it, if it isn't the right season or she doesn't have the correct growing conditions, she is not going to bring forth a flower or fruit. All the striving in the world won't make a blossom bud if it's not the right time.

No, that only happens when it's time for her to blossom.

Either she will or she won't bloom because of the kind of plant she is, the place she is now growing and the conditions God allows in her life--the sunshine and rain, erosion or pests.That's totally up to the Lord and His intentions for her.

So I think it might be better for me to think of it this way. Instead of "bloom where you are planted," maybe it should be "you'll bloom in season."

I'm not to strive to blossom. Blossoming is not my job, it's what results from what God has made me to be.

I pray that He will allow me to bear fruit for His kingdom, in His time, in His way, and in His perfect will. Without striving, I hope to see how this unfolds in my life seasonally. His will be done. Amen.


"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

A Day of Heart Lessons

Heart lessons can be so challenging! I seem to be able to absorb lessons in my mind so much more easily than into my heart.

These pearls, for instance. Someone stole them, along with the whole box of jewelry.

I know these verses and I believe them.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;  for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

 I know this parable.

“Behold, the sower went out to sow; and as he sowed, some seeds fell beside the road, and the birds came and ate them up. Others fell on the rocky places, where they did not have much soil; and immediately they sprang up, because they had no depth of soil. But when the sun had risen, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. Others fell among the thorns, and the thorns came up and choked them out. And others fell on the good soil and yielded a crop, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty."

 And I know its explanation.

"When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is the one on whom seed was sown beside the road.  The one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, this is the man who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy;  yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls away. And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful And the one on whom seed was sown on the good soil, this is the man who hears the word and understands it; who indeed bears fruit and brings forth, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty.”

I know those verses. So why has it taken until today for things to reach my heart? 

Heart lessons are more than just knowing the lesson. They convict me of sin and show me the path I must take, not merely fitting into my mind like a puzzle piece. They change me.

Heart lessons are often hard lessons.  

Take this one. I had a box full of treasure tucked away doing nothing of eternal value. Until my treasure was stolen by a thief, I was blissfully unthinking, merely assuming it was mine because it was there. But the day after the break-in and theft, as I mourned the loss of the value of the collection, particularly some items with sentimental meaning, it was as if my heavenly Father whispered to me, "Daughter, I have need of MY jewelry elsewhere." 

I started thinking about the "deceitfulness of wealth." I have been deceived. I thought the jewelry was 'mine', even as I said everything I had was His. I never once thought about putting it to eternal uses. Oh, as the value of gold and silver increased I toyed with the idea of selling some of the pieces I didn't care that much about, but in essence I fooled myself, not thinking of this collection of jewelry as "treasure on earth"--in fact, not thinking about it much at all! It was there and it was mine and that was that. 

Until my heavenly Father decided He needed to relocate His jewelry. I don't need to know why, nor to what uses He plans to put it. I simply need to gracefully accept His will and perhaps start to look around to see if I have any other "treasure on earth" that I haven't considered. It would have been such a blessing to have been involved in the redistribution of that jewelry. That would have changed my heart, too, in a way that would have brought me joy and freedom. But since I missed that opportunity, being deceived as I was, maybe now I'll recognize the next opportunity. 

I'm so grateful for this hard but valuable heart lesson. Like a good daddy, the Lord takes things from me when I hold too tightly to what is 'mine'. He wants me to share. I'm learning.

The Art of Spiritual Whack-a-Mole

Have you ever been to a carnival or arcade and played Whack-a-Mole? You know, it's the game where there are multiple holes out of which little mole heads pop up at random times. You stand there whacking away, trying to keep them all down. The faster you go, the faster they pop up until you're frantically flailing at all these heads.

So, I woke up early this morning and lay in bed playing a few rounds of spiritual Whack-a-Mole.

Wait, let's get one thing clear before I go on. I know I'm redeemed and thoroughly forgiven. I know I'm positionally clean before God, by the cleansing blood of Christ, my Savior. I'm good with all that.

But I carry around this sin nature that's still prone to pop up like those mole heads, sometimes fast and furious.

I start thinking about something that happened in the past, focused on an injustice done to me or a misjudgment made regarding my character or behavior. I'm the star of my show. I usually start writing a beautifully phrased letter or email in my mind, addressed to someone I believe needs to have things 'clarified'. It's not long before I'm totally focused on the circumstances and the injustices, seething with emotions, accusing others right and left, and just generally over-the-top angry all over again. A fat lot of good my clarification has done.

I'm not praying to God--I'm complaining. I'm not petitioning Him--I'm kvetching. And of course, about that time I sense His displeasure with me, and begin to realize that I'm doing it again. My spiritual version of Whack-a-Mole has become its own art form.

"I remember when he..." Up pops anger. "Sorry, Lord. Forgive me and help me to be patient."  WHACK!

"She had the gall to say..." Up pops criticism. "Oh, Lord, give me a heart of real forgiveness." WHACK!

"He did that to me on purpose..." Up pops hate. "Lord, help me to love others as I love myself."  WHACK!

"She's smart as kelp..." Up pops a malice. "Lord, I need to be kind." WHACK!

"I spent six years doing that and they treated me like..." Up pops pride. "Father, I repent. Grant me humility."  WHACK!

"I should actually send this letter..." Up pops discontent and resentment. "Sweet Jesus, help me to trust you for what I need and let go of what I think I should receive in this life I live." WHACK, WHACK!

Up pops rebellion, slander and envy. "Dear Heavenly Father, my Savior, I surrender control of my life, and ask You to forgive me for this black hole in my heart." WHACK, WHACK, WHACK!  

"PLEASE RELEASE ME FROM THIS PLACE OF STRIFE!"

And He does.

Sometimes I get going fast and furious, thinking I can just pray it all away, but you know what? My sins can just overwhelm me. Yes, of course I need to sort them out with the Lord, pray them through, be honest and clearheaded.

But in the end I need to stop, give in and let Him take it all away. The Lord may not change the circumstances around me, but He'll change me in the circumstances.

Today the Holy Spirit led me to Psalm 130:3-6.

If You, LORD, should mark iniquities,
          O Lord, who could stand?

But there is forgiveness with You,
          That You may be feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait,
          And in His word do I hope.

My soul waits for the Lord
          More than the watchmen for the morning;
          Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning.

And so I wait. Amen.